|
faithfully_dangerous
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Laura
Metro:
Birthday: 8/16/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Music, art, truth, beauty, real things, people, summer, the ocean, the mountains, and you.
Expertise: Protesting things like winter. Being a summer advocate. Drink up baby, stay up all night, with the things you could do, you won't but you might, the potential you'll be that you'll never see, the promises you'll only make...drink up baby, look at the stars, i'll kiss you again, between the bars where i'm seeing you there with your hands in the air, waiting to be finally caught, drink up one more time, and i'll make you mine, keep you apart, deep in my heart, separate from the rest for I like you the best.
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/10/2005
|
|
| ok.
I am surprised by my calm these days. I feel I am characterized by silence and chaos these days. The age old tension. I feel that for the last three months I have been on a constant string of self-medicated numbness. As a feeling rises to the surface, the wet in the eyes, the lump in the throat, the burning sensation, I'll blot it out before it spreads. Count slowly backwards from ten. Ten. Nine. Eight. Sevennn. Sssiiixx. Fiiive... fffff fffouuuuurrrr.............
And so it goes. But ever since fall found itself back into my heart and eyes and arrested my senses. Ever since layng near that wall. Ever since apples and bright red horizons... there is nothing strong enough to numb anymore. And there is a raging chaos in me that screams behind calm eyes.
I am surprised that my sins, my offenses are unforgiveable. When all of ours glare side by side. And I must confess that all of these words typed so carelessly, careless with my heart, careless with promises, careless with hate make me realize that there is no confidence to be had in words, in promises, in statements of love. | | |
| My previous entry has just recently become reality. I have finally left three painstaking, heartbreaking, restless years behind and I am now embarking on a new and very frightening journey. This new season has ample opportunity for terrible failure, humiliation, and a lot of questioning, but I finally know, that I am, without a doubt, where I ought to be. The question that remains is, if I am where I ought to be, then why are you not yet here with me? Did I miss a step in the process or is this a very important part of who we will one day be together? I assume the latter without much difficulty, but if we have taken the first step of the time that will be a very important part.... and we will one day be together and better for it.... then what are we supposed to do in this wretched inbetween time?
I am waiting upon the Lord... and trying to be patient | | |
| and as I start to leave, well he grabs me by the shoulder and he tells me what's left to lose? you've done enough. and if you fail well then you fail but not to us. and these last three years, I know they've been hard, but now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun, even if it's alone [the format] I just listened to this and it almost made me cry. I think we all need to hear someone say this to us sometimes. | | |
| a yawn and the wide world opens wider ......finally. | | |
| ((Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears - coldplay))
| | |
|
